so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
