Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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