do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
