Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
