My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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