Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
