My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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