I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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