Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
