I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
