i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
