i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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