That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
