If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
