I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
