Fuck appropriateness.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
