:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
