thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
