dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
