Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
