Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
