forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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