Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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