I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
