Do you still have your period?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
