just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
