His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
