That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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