I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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