video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
