If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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