i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
