She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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