I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
