one two three fourrrrnication!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
