K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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