Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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