Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I died a long time ago.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
