hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
