she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
