Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize