apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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