what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
