it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
