Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm always down for nudity.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
