Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
