I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
