Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
