Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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