"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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