help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
babies were throwing up all over the place
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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